Saturday, October 20, 2007
Anxiety - that stagnant pool of filth the mind creates. Leeching cursed water to swim through. Swimming in and out, gulping at times, with trepidation.
The unknown. Frustration, fear, disappointment, betrayal, anger, sadness; give me all of it. I will swim through that.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Why does it seem to have an undeniable capacity to hold beyond what we think it can? A time in my life where I long for a mechanism which could shut mine down. Some kind of protective device which would take over when things (thoughts) seemed too much to bear. A wise tree engulfing me inside it's brittle arms, a cave of stone with barriers deep enough to shield, a large winged bird with talons like knives on ice. I would willingly give my heart to such a creature and let it encompass me. Or let it eat me, sobbing mercilessly in blessed relief.
Pain dreams me to sleep. We are symbiotic, though it does not know me. It is Kali's gift. Life and death, beauty and ugliness, motherliness and destruction. They fall as drops of water and the glittering is too sharp.
My heart holds it all, choosing this, without my will.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
My poke berries are hanging blood red and ripe. For reasons I don't fully understand yet, I am drawn to this plant. So many sprouted up this summer, and when I neglected my clothesline, large poke plants grew there too. They branched out wide and opened their arms to me.
When I was younger, I believed poke to be a dangerous plant to be avoided, and now I see her as the powerful presence that she is. Used sacredly, she is strengthening.
The herbwife has some wonderful writings about poke. She is wise. Corinna Wood writes another good article on this amazing plant.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
The kids tell a good story. I love how they get into this big group and make up stories that feed off of each other's wild tales. This one begins with Sasquatch (or Bigfoot), which they first learned about on the Discovery channel.
Apparently, he's been sighted in our forest, on particularly dark evenings while gathering eggs. One night I asked the kids to go gather some eggs a little later than usual, and Maverick picked up a wooden back scratcher to take with him. I said, "I don't think that's going to do you a lot of good against Sasquatch", to which he replied, "I'm going to use this to scratch his back and then he'll say...ahhhhhh, and let us go". LOL
They returned with plenty of eggs and plenty of giggling. :)